To whom it may concern,

I am applying for the position of right up in the top left hand corner, that was advertised in yesterday’s generic and entirely fictional newspaper.

I feel that I would be a perfect fit for this position as my head is cube shaped, thus there would be no wasted space between me and the aforementioned position.

I have many skills that I could bring to this position, such as the ability to stand in one place for a very long time, and the very rare and unique skill of being able to breathe. This will definitely be a positive for your company, as this skill assists me in staying alive.

Please find my resume attached. I used sticky tape, glue, and a little bit of ribbon with glitter on it.

I look forward to hearing from you, and I will if you speak loudly, as my hearing is excellent, or poor. I have yet to decide.


From whom it does concern.