Long before the invention of hotpants, there were amazing things. They were called dinosaurs.

Dinosuars would have looked great in hotpants. Especially lime green ones. Lime green hotpants, that is, not lime green dinosaurs. Though they would have looked pretty awesome, too!

I’m pretty sure I was going somewhere with that… hang on a sec… let me just retrace my steps…

Right! Got it! Dinosaurs…

Dinosuars were the first creatures in the world to invent roller skating. They were mad for it. Brontosauruses might have looked pretty slow and cumbersome when they walked around, but chuck a pair of skates on one, and it was as graceful as a giant, leathery swan. And you know that stereotypical image you see of the T-Rex? The really angry one? He only looked like that when the skate rental shop had no more skates in his size. T-Rex was usually a real softy.

They also invented lawn bowls, but it didn’t really catch on until about 20 mintues before the giant asteroid collided with Earth. It’s a shame they were all wiped out… I would like to have seen a veloceraptor take lawn bowls gold at the Olympics.